December 19th, 2005

Current Music: Good stuff Subject: Please Read this is a biggum Time: 07:57 pm Current Mood: excited

We have been picked as finalist to play the detroit taste of choas tour!!!! We need you to vote for us to play detroit on the myspace taste of chaos page at www.myspace.com/tasteofchaos (copy and paste) If we get enough votes we get to play the Detroit Taste of Chaos March 11, 2006!!! PLease help us get on this show! Vote between demember 20th, 2005 and january 6th, 2006 Thanks to everyone!!!! </b> Heres how it works: The winner will be selected from all eligible entries received during the Contest Period. Sponsor will select four (4) finalists from each market. Then MySpace users will vote for their favorite solo artist/band in each market from the four (4) finalists selected between December 20, 2005 and January 6, 2006. Each MySpace member will be permitted to vote once per tour date. The solo artist/group with the most user votes in each market will win the prize(s). Sponsor will announce the winner of the Contest on the MySpace website on or about January 8, 2006. Thanks to everyone for all the support so far, this is what got us here. We appreciate everyone for being to amazing Red I Flight www.rediflightmusic.com www.myspace.com/rediflight www.myspace.com/tasteofchaos

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November 18th, 2004

Current Music: stevie wonder Subject: This will be one of my last posts. Time: 07:44 pm Current Mood: accomplished

I am sorry for doin things this way for it is not very intimate but I need to make sure they things can be said with no interuptions so here goes. Theresa, First of all I want you to know that I do love you and I will ALWAYS love you FOREVER. I did means those words when I said them, and it is something that I wish was possible. But this is how I truly feel. I was unhappy with us and with myself for becoming the person that I did. I did everything I could for you and gave you my heart for you and ONLY YOU. It was your decision on how you treated that present. I feel that you could not give me what I wanted from you. You give me shit about trust and everything else, well here is the truth. I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU. I don't care if you believe me or not. You got mad at me for talking to other girls or hanging out with girls, well all I wanted was you. Your still are getting mad at me for hanging out and that is something you never had a right to do and still do not have a right to do. I feel like I gave you what you wanted, you even told me that, but when things were important you could not return the favor. I knew that breaking up with you would make me cry and depressed and miserable but it was something I needed to do no matter what I may or may not have felt. And that is something you need to understand. How to take action for something you believe in so strongly that it may hurt you to do what is right. I asked you to give me time and to let me have room, but you could not do that because it hurt you too much. Do you know I stayed with you not to hurt you? I put myself through pain to make you happy, something that could not be returned when I asked. That is what you need to understand. That in order to be "forever" you may have to go through the worst pain to make the other person happy. That is what love is. I told you (you didn't have to figure it out) what I needed and you simply could not fufill my wishes. That is why your words to not have the same bearing they did. I honestly don't care if you did or did not talk about hanging out with a guy you had a crush on or he had a crush on you, or if you talked about wanted to do stuff with him because I thought you would never hurt me like that. The faith I had in you. The thought of cheating on you makes me sick to my stomach. I know I could not live with myself doin that to anyone let alone you. And that is something that I wish you would have understood. I replay all these good times and bad times in my head, and I think about some of the fights we had. That strictly came down to trust. You want to question my trust well ok. How much do you trust me if you go through my emails, you questioned me talkin to anyone of the opposite sex, you thought I would leave you for the girl I hate most in the world Kat. That is not trust no matter how much you want to believe you trusted me, your only convincing yourself. I also will tell you how much I miss you and how I can't sleep because I wake up wishing you were there. But you just say you can be there, I know you can but I also know that it is not right for you to be. I cry almost everyday thinking about you and how much I care about you. But you do not know what it takes to care about me. You do what is best for you, and that is fine, that is why we are not together. You know need to understand what is best for both of us. God I would love for all this to not be real and for me to hold you and never let go. But I know that things can not be this way. Do you know how often in a day I close my eyes and think of how your lips taste? But again it is not something that can be, because we do not think alike. Your views of right and wrong and different from mine, and because of that we will always be estranged from each other. I am sorry you do not understand me or this or the situation and I am sorry you never will. It is not something I can tell you it is something that you need to feel. I constantly question myself about "if I did the right thing?" but am soon reminded by the actions you take. I have always told you "actions speak louder than words" well I hear your actions loud and clear. You bring people in to our problems that don't deserve to be there. You don't do what I ask. You make poor desicions and show me time and time again your true colors. That is why I can't be with you. That is why I don't want you around. Like I said, I asked you to just give me time and space, the one thing I needed and that you needed to give me back. Instead you did what you thought was best. And couldn't give me the respect I deserve. I did want to get back together with you when we first broke up, I tested your ability to do what I needed not matter how much it may have hurt, and that test ended before it even began. Take time to realize what you did and realize how all I ever wanted to do is love you, that is what is important here. For you to take time and really think about all the stupid looks and shitty remarks you gave me when I was tryin to build for us. I am not at fault there, nore was I ever at fault for that. You treated me unfairly, and took things out on me then i tried to just give you the love you wanted. I think it is fucked up that you could do all of that. Really think, theresa about all the ignorance and stupidity you showed me and know this one thing again. I gave you what you asked, I loved you, I never cheated on you, I lived my life for you, not for me. And you did all those shitty things, how am I suppose to react, how amI suppose to feel, but most importantly how am I suppose to take what I did not deserve when I gave you everything you did deserve and more. You want to be with me you want to love me you want forever. Well then you need to fucking start thinking of all the unjust things and all the looks and all the fucking bullshit I put up with because I loved you and start doin what it takes for me to forgive you. And I will not tell what those things are, your an adult, use your fucking head and realize what it takes and do it. I will do what it takes for me to be happy right now. If you TRULY WANT US then here is your last chance. eric

November 15th, 2004

Current Music: dayton family Time: 07:02 pm Current Mood: crushed

Just as I expected...you say so much by not saying anything

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November 14th, 2004

Current Music: billy joel Time: 05:39 pm Current Mood: blah

Is there anything you think I should know about, heres your chance

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November 13th, 2004

Current Music: 2pac Subject: your own world Time: 04:09 pm Current Mood: angry

At what point did you think I was not gonna find out about the shady things you did. I guess it doesn't matter now.

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November 9th, 2004

Current Music: poison the well Subject: I miss you Time: 06:56 pm Current Mood: restless

I find things so confusing sometimes, it is as though it seems I am the happiest I have been in a while, but I can't get past the fact I miss you. I miss your touch and your kisses and all the things that made me love you. I feel torn between moments of happiness because the low points are so low. I wish I had myself figured out and I wish I was not so complicated. I am sorry that you must love a person who can't be with you but wants to be at the same time. Just hold me one last time, make that kiss count, for the one that was our last pains me to this day. eric

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November 1st, 2004

Current Music: in my head Subject: writing Time: 10:55 pm Current Mood: tired

Screams In Dreams are as They Seem, Sereene i mean like silver screens the sceems they gleam with streams of green and fiends that team against the keen deamed mean by those who scream in dreams...

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October 31st, 2004

Current Music: thebled Subject: ... Time: 04:08 pm Current Mood: lonely

Feeling lonely is one of the worst things you can feel. It sucks wanting something and not wanting something at the same time. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me. I would have to say this time has been the best I have felt in a while, but there are those seconds that feel like years just feeling lonely. I know that what I did is right. I knew it would make me happy and it does. I just wish you could have it all. everything could be perfect, but reality shows me that it cannot.

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October 12th, 2004

Current Music: everytime I dizzle Subject: still not ok Time: 03:03 pm Current Mood: distressed

I am so confused lately. I think I am depressed but I don't know. It just feels like things should be better, I should be happier, but I am not. Time doesn't seem to heal these wounds. Just seem to keep getting infected. I am lost and I am the only who can find myself, but the journey may be too rough. It seems like I am afraid of making things right in my mind, or maybe just afraid of what other consiquenses may be at the end of the road. But I still find myself out of it trying to find something that may not be there. This is not for me right now and I need to do what is best for me...if that is what is best. eric

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October 10th, 2004

Current Music: no music not now Subject: what do you think I am thinking Time: 02:36 pm Current Mood: uncomfortable

I don't feel right anymore. I always feel weird, tired, weak. It's no good. I don't know what to do to make that feeling go away,but I feel like I got to do something. I think that I am in a slump. And no matter how hard i try i loose myself in the same spot. I am not so much depressed as i am just not with it anymore. i wish i had some answers...

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October 5th, 2004

Time: 06:35 pm Current Mood: angry

I am annoyed!

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September 30th, 2004

Current Music: everytime I die Subject: I hate it Time: 01:19 pm Current Mood: sick

I am fucking sick and this cold is kicking my ass. I came home early today because I felt like death was apon me. Now I am fucking bored and sick, which sucks even more. Come talk to me eric

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September 22nd, 2004

Current Music: The Chariot Subject: Tired Time: 06:46 pm Current Mood: cynical

I am really tired and I have practice tonight. Not that I don't want to go I just want to sleep for a little. Oh well we finished the new song and now it is time to make if perfect. And tomarrow is the bled and silverstein and I am a happy boy. lates

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September 14th, 2004

Current Music: bright eyes Subject: bored and tired Time: 11:18 pm Current Mood: blah

These are the things I am the most. It sucks and in that time I always remember bad things about my past. I wish those people weren't gone, I wish I could have done something but alot of the time the world is out of our reach. It's funny that we think we are in control but we are not, and that is how harsh reality can be. Eric

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September 9th, 2004

Current Music: postal service Subject: Holy swiss cheese Time: 07:20 pm Current Mood: tired

nothing really dramatic is hapening. I just thought that title was funny. I wanted to practice tonight but everyone went to jack johnson. Damn them, I wanted to go. Oh well, we are playing with 40 below and our friends slytherin september 17th at harpos, come if you would like and I am out like a belly button. eric

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September 6th, 2004

Current Music: folly Subject: a long time Time: 11:12 am Current Mood: crazy

Man it has been a long time since I have said anything in here. I miss talking to everyone so I hope you all comment. Just here to say life is ok the band is doing well and I am gonna be on a whole lot more so talk me cause i get bored. lata gatas eric

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July 5th, 2004

Current Music: emery Subject: hey Time: 01:45 pm Current Mood: dorky

just saying hi to some peeps I haven't talk to in a while so hi eric

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July 1st, 2004

Current Music: boys night out Subject: tomarrow COME OUT Time: 07:19 pm Current Mood: content

FRIDAY: at alvins 5756 cass ave. detroit doors at 7:00pm - all ages - $6 -red i flight (detroit metalcore) -suffocate faster (ohio straightedge) -xTYRANTx (first show) -nehemiah (mn/metal and good) -too pure to die (mn/straight edge mosh) -xKILL EVERYONEx (windsor/detroit mosh) please come out and support us, listen to us on www.purevoume.com/rediflight

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June 23rd, 2004

Subject: To who it may concern... Time: 03:57 pm

thank all the people that are there for me and the people that are truly devoted. I know barely any of them will read this but I want it to be said. eric

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Current Music: silverstein, misery singals Subject: ok Time: 03:50 pm Current Mood: annoyed

I love how people post comments in their journal and don't direct them to anyone leavin a person oto only wonder if it is about them. Aren't we all adults? Well, hope this is just a vague as everything else eric

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